Online Dating for New Zealand Singles

GUYS  ..."Hey doll you look sexy" just won’t cut it or do it for you, it can be the biggest turn off ever to a woman…….be a bit more subtle you might think it…. just don’t say it……..something like ……Hi liked your profile and would love a quick chat if you have time………may go down better and be a bit persistent if you really would like to make contact with some one, don’t give up easily no matter what they say until they tell you to get lost of don’t reply any more then you should try and get the message. 

Now for the woman it’s more difficult…………but if you see someone that you would really love to contact then read his/her profile and send a message saying Hi read your profile would really like to chat read my profile and if you would like to say hello back that would be great but if not no dramas good luck in your search. Always always be polite don’t be rude there is no need for it and there is normally nothing personal in the dating world it’s just preferences, circumstances at the time, busy period etc etc so never give up and keep looking.

Put some effort into searching for a new mate………fill in your profile giving as much information about yourself as you can and want to………..and think of a really good site name that is going to attract interest. Use an up to date photo of yourself not one that is 5 years old or is showing you sideways, downwards, upwards, or wearing  that Stetson holiday hat

At last you have made contact with someone and you are getting on like a house on fire after 3 or 4 messages you exchange mobiles……never give your land line or work number at this stage a mobile is sufficient be cautious until you are confident the other person is genuine and not married etc. Never invite them to your home for coffee on that first date or be alone with them anywhere.

Make your first meeting in the daytime if possible for a coffee to see if you gel.  If there is no chemistry for you, when you are leaving just say something like was great to meet you, will be in touch then text later with a message something like “it was great to meet you and you are a really nice person but there was no chemistry for me so I wouldn’t want to waste your time”. Or do nothing, if you don’t hear from them, then that could be a clue that they felt the same

Other than the army; the most horrific thing you can volunteer for in life is a blind date even if you have been chatting on line and you have seen photos of each other, chances are you won’t look like them pics to the other person. There are two equally ghastly parts to the date: asking for the date, and the date itself. Remember, however bad you feel when someone turns you down for a date, the good news is that you then don't have to go on the date itself well it isn’t really it’s the only way you are going to relearn the social skills needed to face life on your own in the big wide dating world especially if you have been through a painful break-up even if you’ve had time to prepare for the end perhaps even chosen the break-up yourself. It can sill all be a painful adjustment and meeting new people for the first time on your own can be daunting, so we must all try and make the meeting as easy and relaxing as possible.

What makes a date so dreadful is the weight of expectation attached to it and the let down but there is every chance that you may meet your soul mate, get married, have children and be buried side by side. There is an equal chance that the person you meet will look as if they have already been buried for some time and just been dug up so be prepared

The hardest part of the date itself is the first line you say when you meet. If you can manage it, saying 'You look fantastic' is a great starter. Often, with nerves this can come out as 'You look fat', which can take the shine off the rest of the day or evening but give it a go. “You smell nice” always works well to but best of all is a nice big smile. We humans are all the same in the end. We all long for a precious bond with another person, the intimacy that means we’re the special one in someone else’s life.

Deciding what to wear on a first date takes approximately four times as long as the actual date it self. The golden rule is to wear what you feel most comfortable in, unless it is that favourite fleecy romper suit….leave it at home… as I said do make some effort. The time to buy a fancy new outfit is on the second date, when you can feel that buzz of excitement going through your body. Always try and smell nice but not truck loads that could make the other person feel quite sick.

If you go to dinner, remember that you should always ask if you are going to split the bill. This means splitting in half, not working out exactly how many samousas he or she had and how that affects the final total. Never say to a woman that she ate a lot more than you and therefore should be paying a few extra quid because she's such a big eater. I know some men haven’t even bought a drink for their date, this is not on get real do you want to impress someone or not. Better still why don’t you just be the gent and pay on the first occasion.

Another idea is going to the cinema on a first date if you find conversation difficult. However it's worth bearing in mind that 8 percent of arguments in established relationships are about what film to watch. If you insist on taking someone to see a violent thriller, don't expect them to be whispering sweet nothings in your ear while someone on screen gets their face blown off.

Having a drink can help you relax. You should drink at a level that makes you feel increasingly sophisticated and your partner seem increasingly attractive as the evening wears on. When your sophistication meets their attractiveness, you have a thirty second window of opportunity to move in for that most important kiss. Drinking to the right level may also help you deal with a lengthy conversation about the ex bitch or ba*stard yes try and leave the baggage of the break-up till another time may frighten your date away....so just try and have fun.

Well this can be make or break for the whole date as kissing is the key to open everything. Before kissing remove all foreign objects from the mouth including pens, pipes, musical, instruments, and beards. If you both wear dental braces do not attempt to kiss without the fire brigade in attendance with heavy cutting gear.

Make sure you clear the mouth of all food – remember you are kissing not attempting to feed by regurgitation and resist the temptation to be cute by passing your boiled sweet from mouth to mouth and definitely get rid of the old favourite the chewing gum.

Kissing is a specialised technique delicate pecks or puckering can be nice, it is not recommended that you uncoil your tongue like a hose reel and thrust it down your partners throat ………oh no be warned and for god sake no slobbering like a Doberman. Just remember your partner should feel as though they have been kissed passionately not had half an hour with and ear nose and throat specialist. So it was good you felt your toes curl……. Your nose twitch, your heart beat faster that feeling that makes you say wowwwwwwwwwwww hmmmmmmmmmmm and do it again and again till your partner collapses because he or she can’t breathe yes try not to over do it.

So you gelled, you got on like a house on fire and you are going to meet again, cook a meal at his or her place that’s great. Don’t overdo it keep it nice and  simple candles on the table, maybe one flower dim the lights but make sure you can both see what your eating nice back ground music not to loud and it is all going really well……….you both know what you want do……..but how do you know when to make the right move are you reading the signals right……….yes it is still a bit hard but you just have to go with the flow…….and hope that you have both pressed all the right buttons for each other and go for it, still be cautious think about protection hopefully you have talked about it……..so you both know what you are doing so off you go to the bedroom or maybe you have both got so wound up that you don’t actually make it that far…………whatever…………just enjoy and be sensible.

Here is some research on sexual facts and myths that may be of some interest.

We wish you all luck in your search for a new mate and lots of fun looking