Online Dating for New Zealand Singles

Are you wondering if we have lost the art of romancing?  

I have been asked many times lately have we lost the romance as woman don't feel men seem to want to wine and dine them any more and flowers well go pick them yourself...some would say yes we have but you just have to look at Valentines day and all the money that is spent on flowers, cards emails and texting  a romantic evening meal etc it's phenomenal the whole day is in a frenzy but is that romance? Or just fun on the day, playing a joke on someone in the office your mates etc having a good old laugh, or trying to let someone know you are interested in them well that could be the start of romance. If you are sending flowers and a card to your partners, wife or husband then that's keeping the romance alive.

Not so long ago you met your childhood sweetheart, lover, what ever and you courted for a couple of years got engaged even had a big engagement party for both families and friends, who has one of them now. (The girls and the lads just go out on a binge night and get plastered.) You would set your date  for the wedding  then saved got married then you probably lived with either partners parents as you couldn't afford a deposit on a house  so this helped you to save  hmmmmm was there romance in all that . Now days most would go flatting with another couple or would be able to buy a house on 100% loan so yes things have changed , but romance was still there especially in the back row of the cinema. There were sandwich bars and coffee bars with juke boxes and you would all congregate in various places to try and find out which was the best party to gate crash and there was always some guy fighting another guy for the chick or bird as woman were called then now we are called babes, a kiss was a snog now it's a pash and honey is now Hun, a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates was the thing to let your girl know you liked her those were the days ah.....yea right!!

Of course we are in a whole different ball game now where technology has taken over were we don't actual have to talk to each other anymore emailing, texting , face book, blogs, my space, online dating sites, chat rooms,  you tube, instant messaging have taken over so we soon know where the best party is going to be with texting so have  we  lost the ability to even communicate on a face to face basis yet alone anything else but we love it it's just another way of interacting with each other.

Someone once said to me here is my mobile number ring me and we can talk. I replied with TALK what's that? is that something new  .... nup it will never catch on......it was a joke of course.

Virtually anything can be done on the internet and I mean anything. You can send your flowers, book your movie or theatre seats, or restaurant, weekend away,   holiday you name it pay your bills online, without talking to anyone nothing wrong with that saves a lot of time and it can still all be done in the name of romance. These days that is where it  usually starts on  the online dating sites , face book, bogs, chat rooms, texting what ever as there is no stigma to meeting people in this way anymore  in fact the internet  is the best way to go, to make a connection with someone that catches  your  fancy it's  one of the most popular ways to find someone we can  become any persona we want and it can become quite addictive, plus it is a good way to go if your relationship is over to mould you back into the world of flirting and romancing again.

You start to chat you exchange  mobile numbers you text each other you then talk, the sound of someone's voice can start all sorts of senses in the body,  you are getting on like a house on fire, flirting..... Yes the ROMANCE could be starting and you don't even realize it. Next you meet for coffee you both really like what you see so here we go before you know what's happening you are talking and texting and emailing everyday....... some would call it chemistry the X factor  even a kind of love infatuation or on the rebound even but who cares if you click and you are getting them feelings you are half way there........what do you need to do to impress the other person well it isn’t about spending money, it’s about spending, time and energy, creativity, to attract and keep the relationship exciting and the love alive if it gets that far of course, so what do we do to attract the object of our affection.

Yes you've got it we flirt , romance how ever you want to define it, with the flowers, movies, candle light dinners boxes of chocolates etc to entrap our  victim with the little things that mean a lot  modern technology is never going to change that and it's what most of us like doing interacting with another person, giving lots of compliments, opening doors yes some still do, walking hand in hand on the beach little acts of affection cuddling leaving love notes around we pull out all the stops in the beginning it's been happening the same way for years ...... okay okay I can see some of you reaching for a bucket who have no interest in all that mushy stuff and just want a quick casual what ever and if you are in your  teens  early twenties why would you be interested anyway your having far to much fun  going out with your mates in the van with cougar hunters painted all over it getting trashed ha ha  but as you get older you start wanting something a bit more meaningful in your life so you need to know the little things that are going to help you get  it , and  hey how can you have intimacy and  a  true connection if you haven't had all that to start with getting to know what makes the other person tick and what presses their buttons it doesn't just start in the bedroom because I am not talking about sex here it's something more powerful than that. It's exciting it makes your heart beat faster you feel alive again your buzzing  it's an adrenalin rush like driving a car real fast, you can't wait for the next time you talk, or the text, the email it's one of the best feelings two people can have for one another the sex comes after all that of course it has to if you having them feelings that's why so many people have affairs yes they do rightly or wrongly but we won't get into that topic.........yes it can drive you crazy but in a nice way. I once got in the car with my slippers still on to go to work not a good look with my dress .......... but that's how bad it got me you want to get to know everything about your new excitement, it’s having a real connection between you both it's almost telepathic and you can't get them off your mind there isn't a moment through the day that you don't think about the other person.

So have we lost the ability to pursue the person of our dreams and pull out all the stops can we be bothered any more when all these internet dating sites  make it so easy to just chat with someone and never leave the comfort of your home it's makes us lazy but is that what we really want well I hope not............every now and again someone comes along and they stir us a bit and it becomes special and I think when that happens.... then all the senses come into play pretty quick.......we start to make an effort it's like fishing so we start to get the bait ready  get that aftershave out, get some new jocks and socks that's if you wear them of course commando is popular these days. even iron a shirt maybe yes the hunter instinct takes over...........if we want it bad enough we will usually do what ever it takes to get it,  and I think we all know what we have to do..............things haven't changed that much you just have to look at how many couples there are living together and  still  getting married setting up homes that institute is still alive and kicking it is what gives a lot of people structure and purpose in their lives plus online dating wouldn't be the thriving business it is if people weren’t looking for  someone to  have that special romance with. If you aren't being taken to dinner the movies or pampered in anyway.....then the reason can only be that the other person just isn't interested in you that much or maybe they can't afford to be to lavish.....but there are other way to be romantic on a budget and if isn’t happening move on because that is obviously not what the person wants with you.

All I can say is I hope we never lose the art as it has been around for centuries and I’m sure it's definitely here  to stay and isn't disappearing  in my lifetime !!  Regardless of modern technology, people will always want the real thing all the senses touch, smell, sight, having a companion that they can have fun with talk to and laugh. Thank god I say because for me I love flowers being taken to movies candle light dinners, being pampered and made to feel special the love and the intimacy that goes with it all, what man or woman wouldn't so the only advice I can give is never ever give up the little things and forget the art of Romancing because it is such a wonderful exciting Feeling when you have it.

Written by

Wilo Callaghan

Not for republishing